Submitted the Ballot, Filled with Bullets

steenfox:

So I just found out via Twitter that grown men having lunch together is gay. I don’t know how you men do it…this whole trying to remain straight thing. I mean, with the ever growing list of what’s considered to be gay, how do you guys keep up? You could be partaking in some real gay behavior right now (like eating an ice cream cone or drinking an alcoholic beverage that has anything fruity in it) and not even know it. Twitter also taught me that if one man includes a smilie face in a text to another man that he wants to smoke his sausage. But I’ve also heard that it was gay for men to text each other period. Apparently there’s also a time limit that you can be on the phone. Longer than 5 minutes…nigga you gay. It’s also gay for one man to give another man any type of greeting card! 

I feel it’s my duty as an American citizen to make sure men are keeping that empty seat between them & their homey when they go to the movies (because sitting next to each other is super gay.) What else should be added to this list? Click on the “reply” button & let me know! *no homo* 

Updated 04/14/11: BREAKING NEWS- Owning a small dog is GAY. Owning 1 or more cats is GAY. A man must own a dog larger than 15 lbs. The verdict is still out on goldfish & ferrets. But as I type this, I’m pretty sure ferrets are gay too.